Today was a very emotional day for me. Nothing really went on today, and I haven’t PMS’d in over a year, so why so emotional? who knows. Maybe it was because I had finally knocked some sense into myself that this lifestyle I am living is indeed not a healthy one. I am finally coming to terms that I will eventually die. I don’t want to die, I am way too young! Even though I don’t know it, there is still so much I want to do before I perish. As of right now I am looking up doctors that is in my health insurance. I found one doctor that I am going to try. Hopefully this guy can help me get better. Although however, this is pretty much mental as well. I called the hospital”s mental health clinic or whatever and that really wasn’t helpful at all. It was a recorded message and most of the time I had to keep hitting a number to get what I want. Eventually the pressing of numbers had stopped when the recorded voice said that they were no longer taking in patients right now. “WHAT THE HECK?” I thought to myself. I finally want help and this is what I get? Really?. UGH! to hell if it’s too full, I need mental help too!! That right there just pisses me off seriously! Hospitals are supposed to help you, not reject you. (anyone else get rejected from a hospital?). Anyway….I still yet to call this doctor. It’s already too late to call, so I will call sometime in the morning tomorrow since I have another day off from work.
So I guess my ED is probably the reason why I am so highly emotional today. Every time I think of the consequences or whatever the tears start the come. Not even that but any issue I start to tear up. Goodness, the next thing you’ll know I’ll be crying over my cat!! such silly things to get emotional about right?
Morning started off with the usual chocolate yogurt mess. I was planning to have my dark chocolate pb oatmeal, but mom was home. I don’t really feel comfortable making breakfast around her because she would usually make a comment about what I eat.
A little while later it was lunchtime. I had some Aunt Jemima LF waffles w/ sugar free syrup.
I went to visit my aunt at her work today. She works at a little gift store in downtown Milford, PA called Hare Hollow. Business seems to not be doing well. Several customers came in, and not one of them bought anything. (can’t say the same about Shop Rite can’t I?). We had a nice talk. I find it a lot easier to talk to my aunt or whoever about my situation then to my mom. They don’t get upset about it and they actually listen to me. I love family! <3!
After my little visit I went grocery shopping. Then went home. Snack was a Kashi Honey Almond Flax bar.
Dinner consisted of leftovers I believe. A small amount of mashed potatoes with pieces of corn, turkey, mixed veggies, and a glass of milk
A Blue Bunny Mint Grasshopper Ice Cream Sandwich was dessert.
Late night snacks included an Orange Bliss Dannon L&F yogurt, and Stauffer’s Animal Crackers
Cannot believe tomorrow is Thursday already! Can’t wait because it’s PAYDAY! whoo hoo! Love it!
Well…off to bed. Hope everyone has had a good day!