Hey everyone! Sorry for the long absence!  I kind of gave up on blogging for a bit. So obviously I stopped. But now I am back and (kinda) better then ever.  A few good things have occurred in my life during the absence.  Did I discuss that I went part time as a student? Well if I didn’t discuss that then, I did and it was the best decision I’ve made.  I have done really, really well and made The Dean’s list for two semesters!!  I had gotten a letter from the school before saying that I got a 4.0, but little did I know I would make The Dean’s list!!!  In high school when I heard of this Dean’s list I just chuckled and said “Yeah, I’ll most likely never make that list”.  Honest to god, never say never!!!! Nothing is impossible!!!  And this is without my special education needs! It comes to show you that you can work and go to school at the same time.  Besides, I took easy classes. lol.  Sad to say I am probably off of it now because I took an effective speaking class this summer and received a B+.  Whatever, I’m not going to flip out over a B+ it’s not like I failed that class you know?  I am just thankful that I once was on The Dean’s list and I can tell many people that in the future.  I was told that I was probably the first one in my family (both sides I believe) to have made The Dean’s list.  SWEET! Damn I’m smart! haha.

I’m still working at the local Shop Rite.  I’ve recently received a Customer Service award for how good my bagging was.  Not to mention I got a little red ribbon that says “Customer Service Award” lol. I wear it proudly.  I still get customers that complain about me but f*** them, you’re not going to win everybody over.

Health wise……still the same.  I have two infected toes and I finally went to the doctor to have it checked out.  The first doctor I went to wasn’t really that helpful.  I originally went there to see how much damaged I have done to my body because of my ED but all he did (or shall say the nurse did) was weighed me and checked my blood pressure.  Oh, and he also recommended some psychologists to see but I cannot afford to see one! Not to mention that I am now off the health insurance plan because I did become a part time student (honestly I feel that’s f***ed up.) and have to pay the heavy fines just to get help!!! UGH!!!! I still have to call and see if they will let me back on the plan. I really want help but don’t want to drain my savings account because of this.  I was also prescribed to go on paxel (an anti depressant for my ED) and some kind of anti-biotic for my toe.  Sad to say both didn’t work. So, I decided to go see another doctor a bit closer to my home.  I went to the Milford Urgent Care Center in Milford, PA and this time this doctor was more informative.  The last doctor told me that I “picked my toes” and that’s how my infections started. WTF? lol. I do not do that. That’s weird. This new doctor told me that it was probably the cause of A.) A Pedicure (which I do not get) or B.) Malnutrition. DING! DING! DING! found my answer!  My mom said that’s what probably caused it but I didn’t believe her. Damn….that really hit home.  He also said that if it doesn’t get better that I would eventually have to get surgery!! AHHHHH! I’m afraid of surgery!!!!  He prescribed me with two anti biotics.  One called Bactrin and the other Augmentin.  They both helped a little.  I am done with them now and yet to go back there to get more but I am a little apprehensive about Augmentin.  It really did clear it a lot but it made me sick to my stomach. Not to gross out anyone but my stool was all liquid (like diarreah like), I had to go all the time, and my stomach made funny noises. I really don’t want to go through that again.  Hopefully there’s another powerful drug that will clear up my toes 100% without any stomach issues.

As with the eating. I am still eating the same.  I don’t know I can’t stop the control…it’s all about control. I feel it’s gotten worse because I feel as an almost 21 year old, I need to be in control of everything I do Maybe I should see a psychologist. I think I”ll give the health insurance a call today to see if they’ll let me back on the plan. I keep telling myself that I really need the help but no action is done because 2 hours later I’ll feel that everything is fine. Everything is not fine.

But other then that life is ok right now. I’ll be back to reporting what I eat later. Just wanted to give you an update of my life. (if anyone cares that is).

Enjoy your day!!!

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